Unemployed social failure Reginald Urquhart spends his days in cheap bedsits drinking Czech beer out of plastic cups and smoking pipeful after pipeful of Slovak Platinum, a genetically-engineered strand of cannabis sativa and heavy metal isotopes. His hobbies include grinning inanely, looking pasty-faced and reading "Horse and Hound". He is wanted by police in several countries for credit card fraud and parking offences.