The Rules

1. The female always makes The Rules.
   
2. The Rules are subject to change without prior notification.
   
3. No male can possibly know all The Rules.
   
4. If the female suspects the male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
   
5. The female is never wrong.
   
6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
   
7. If the previous rule applies, the male must apologise immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
   
8. The female may change her mind at any time.
   
9. The male must never change his mind without the expressed written consent of the female.
   
10. The female has every right to be angry and upset at any time.
    
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
    
12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
    
13. The male is expected to mind read at all times.
    
14. The male who does not abide by The Rules cannot take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
    
15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
    
16. If the female has PMT, all The Rules are null and void.
    
17. The female is ready when she is ready.
    
18. The male must be ready at all times.