WOMEN

HAZARDOUS MATERIALS

INFORMATION SYSTEM

MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET

WOMEN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: WO
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lbs., known to vary from 110 to 550 lbs.
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities throughout the world

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

  1. Surface usually covered with a painted film
  2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason
  3. Melts when treated properly
  4. Bitter if incorrectly used
  5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common crude
  6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

  1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
  2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
  3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
  4. Insoluble in liquids but activity is greatly increased by saturation in alcohol
  5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known

COMMON USES

  1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
  2. Can be great aid to relaxation

TESTS

  1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
  2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

HAZARDS

  1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
  2. Illegal to possess more than one
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