9. Freedom to decide comes with knowing what we feel so we know our own mind, and become confident.

We enjoy a flawed sort of freedom in doing what ‘ought’ to be done, when we snatch at what seems a bargain, a short cut or a quick fix; when we panic or are fearful of upsetting someone. 

 
 To act responsibly we need freedom to choose else we are 

   1. imitating rather than knowing our own mind and acting on it 

   2. compelled or end driven to act without reference to our ability to 
       realise the potential of our fundamental need in that situation. 

   3. in conversation fearful of incipient rage, fearful of intimacy 
 
   4. defensive 

   5. unable to take each other seriously 

   6. liable to behave erratically, even freak out 

   7. realise we create our value system as we choose, and this can be 
      unwitting.

  
check on other needs
   subsistence 
   security, protection 
   affection 
   to understand 
   to participate, share 
   to create 
   to reflect 
   a sense of identity 
   freedom to choose